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Not Everything that Happens is a Consequence

It has been a long time since I posted to this blog. The events of this week have really made me think so I am putting some thoughts "out there" as much for catharsis as for sharing.

Sometimes in life, you make a bad decision and suffer the consequences. Consequences can come in many different varieties, from a minor inconvenience to a life-altering, catastrophic event.

Sometimes, there was no bad decision, but you seem to suffer consequences. I think, no. I think there is a difference between consequence and events totally out of our control. Sometimes bad things happen to good people, and it isn't a punishment - it just is. For instance, if you've planned an outdoor wedding and it happens to be 102 degrees with a humidity of 98% in May, that is not a consequence, it just happened.

Some people seem to ignore their God-given ability to think things through. Actions that seem incredibly illogical in hindsight, are taken with no thought of repercussions or /consequence/. And when those consequences fall like Wile E. Coyote's anvil, they still seem surprised when it strikes them in the head. And sometimes, no consequences ever seem to befall them.

Some people are smart, level-headed, thoughtful people. Good plans are made with thoughtfulness and care, and yet the world may seem to crash around them, by no fault of their own.

A young man lost his life this week. He was a smart, level-headed, and thoughtful young man. Yet tragedy struck. This young man did nothing wrong, as far as can be told. Nothing. No bad decisions, unless I'm missing something. I cannot describe the fear and trepidation this has brought to my very core. Why? Because he was a smart, level-headed, and thoughtful young man - just like my son.

Lori and I have sometimes jokingly and sometimes seriously told our kids, "Don't do drugs" or "Always wear your seat belt" or "Don't ride with a driver who has been drinking" or "Don't have sex before marriage" or "Don't ..." (you can fill in the blank). I can't count the times my son has retorted (sometimes equally in jest, sometimes less than respectfully), "I'm not an idiot, Dad" or "I'm smart enough to make good choices." The truth is, he is not an idiot, and he is smart enough to make good choices. But sometimes it isn't about choices we make. Sometimes it is information we don't have. Sometimes it is the experience of an older/wiser person that hasn't been shared. Sometimes it is never saying out loud what we assume somebody already knows.

So, what? I'm not sure. I can't bear to imagine what someone else is going through right now that could just as easily be me. Maybe I'm just rambling. But I'll tell you one thing, I'm going to keep telling my son to not do drugs, or not play in traffic, or think before you act... because what if the one time I don't, it is the one time he needed it?

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